Opposites

As a Jew (and a deeply skeptical, atheistic one at that), I have never been one for asking favors of g-d, at least not in the sense of Christian tradition (or, perhaps more fairly, the way that the Christian tradition has been stereotyped and portrayed in mass media).

That is to say, there are no please sweet Lord, shower me with your mercies coming from me, because I harbor neither expectation nor hope that there is a g-d to make it rain.

Still, in weak moments, I have plea-bargained. Cajoled. Begged. Borrowed. Stolen.

If you stop me from yakking all over the place, I'll believe.

If you clear the traffic so I make it to my crim final on time, I will go to shul on Fridays. Hell, I'll even go to church on Sundays.

If Obama is elected, I will pray, daily. Forever.

I yakked in the toilet. And I made it to my crim final with time to spare. And Obama, well, you know how that turned out.

I don't believe. And I haven't been to shul on any Friday since my crim final, to say nothing of all the church I haven't been attending on Sunday mornings. As for the daily prayer? Hardly.

Still, I threw one offhanded request into the universe that seems to have been gifted.

After my last serious relationship ended, I begged the g-ds, the fates and furies, and my very conscience:

May the next man I'm seriously interested in be the polar opposite of this one.

A few months ago, and seemingly out of nowhere, that very person has materialized.

I am not sure that he is exactly what I thought I wanted, but here he is. Just exactly what I asked for, and perfect because and in spite of it. Perfect for a hundred reasons, besides.

It hasn't made a believer of me yet, but I trust this: if there is a g-d(dess), (s)he has one hell of a sense of humor.

Pyrrhic Victory

I don't miss him anymore,

(Baruch Hashem)

but part of me worries that I will never feel that sort of love for a person again.