Incommunicado

I am not doing a very good job being incommunicado with the OMF (Old Man Friend).

I need to work on that.

No.

I need to just fucking do it.

It's not healthy to have what has quickly escalated from an innocent friendship into an emotional affair. Because as my main man Hemingway once wrote, all things truly wicked start from an innocence.

And because, um, if I'm going to have an affair, someone should, at minimum, be lying atop me.

That was a joke.

But seriously.

I have decided that if I am going to be incommunicado with my old man friend, I must really do it. And I have to do it. I have to forget that we have a disturbing, intense, palpable chemistry, which we have both acknowledged. That we have, as he put it, an emotional involvement, which is, as he put it, there, and quite real. And I have to forget that our interaction is seamless. That he is already in my head and heart and I um, this is inelegant, want him in my bed and body.

I have to maintain strict, unyielding, restraining order level avoidance. No e-mail, no phone calls, no contact of any kind. No thinking about him, even, to the extent that it can be avoided.

No more of this half-assed shit.

No more.